What if… I embraced the fear of the unknown?
“Why are you talking yourself out of moving?” my friend asked me upon arriving in London.
“I’m just feeling it out... I don’t know if London is for me,” I defensively bit back, mostly feeling caught out.
What if I hate my choice? Waste my money? Miss everyone back home? What if I don’t know what I am doing? Have no friends? Can’t find work? Hate where I live? The list went on.
And then it clicked. What if I was afraid of the unknown?
Of course, I was. I’d wanted to move overseas for the longest time, but that still didn’t shake the feelings of being absolutely terrified. It’s a strange kind of fear—not the immediate, heart-pounding shock of a bear chase or snake bite, but a slow, creeping anxiety. In my case, it involved subtle self-sabotage. Putting off your goals, because it meant leaving everything that is familiar. The warmth, consistency and ease of your current routine. The connections you adore and the people who support you. To walk away from that is scary. But just like any double-edged sword, the same space that provides comfort can also confine you from chasing what you want.
So, I reframed my questions to one. What if I actually did it?
Cancelling my flight back to Australia, I applied for my visa and committed to the move. Of course, there is a time for comfort, stability, and structure, but I was craving something new and the chance to shake things up.
It seems impulsive, but the decision followed over a year of contemplation. Prolonging decision-making, especially big ones, may just be my forte. However, the overwhelming realisation was that if this was something I really desired, I was the only one who could make it a reality.
I don’t want to glamorise things either. There have been so many inevitable challenges that come with moving halfway across the world. Sure, London has been surprisingly sunny, but I’ve still had a share of rain and gloomy days. And, on those days, when it feels like you keep getting hit with twists and turns, you’re forced to redirect and reassess what you want. In these moments, I've reaffirmed my values and emerged more resilient than before. When you’re faced with problem-solving in unfamiliar territory, it can be so stressful and overwhelming. Although, in these moments of instability, I’ve met some of the most incredible people and been in surprising places I didn’t expect. For example, I was recently coerced onto a lime bike, and now they may just be my favourite thing.
There will always be nuances, hesitations, and fears that try to hold you back. Recently I listened to a business podcast where the founder of a million-dollar company emphasised how making swift decisions and taking risks were imperative to his success. If a mistake arose, it was simply an opportunity to learn and reevaluate. I know comparing life to a business is quite wanker-ish, but his straightforward advice did strike a chord with me.
The harsh truth was that nothing was going to fall neatly into my lap. Even though it would’ve been nice for the mayor of London to welcome me, that’s unfortunately not how life works. He would’ve loved my poor attempt at a British accent though.
Ultimately, I realised that I was the only one holding myself back. If I wanted change, I had to commit to making it happen.
So, from my experience, if you’re feeling the pull to explore a "what if," I would encourage giving it a go. As someone who loves a good list, write down all the pros and cons, and if the positives outweigh the negatives, it might be time to venture into the unknown. Embracing the process, pardon the cliche, and taking things one step at a time is bound to lead to a healthy amount of lessons and few unexpected rewards.